Avoiding feedback we could lose our balance
If you are my friend, I invite you to read this post.
If you do not perceive me as a friend, I recommend you to read this post …
Most of us (including me) were educated and raised up in the paradigm of “good” and “wrong”.
I always felt there was something wrong about this binary paradigm of “good” and “wrong” and I was right … kidding …
I was happy to discover NVC. Did you remember when you found out about NVC? I discovered it just recently, but I feel relieved knowing that in the meantime I discovered other things and perhaps there are many other things to discover or to invent.
Exploring is my default way of being.
NVC talks about a new paradigm, that of being effective and efficient. Of course, there are many things to learn from NVC, for example about needs vs. strategies.
One of the results of having this knowledge is that we could change our state from being a victim to becoming an agent and this is possible through our own reflections, understanding and change of perspective …
Change of perspective could unveil new and unexpected possibilities. I will share with you two funny anecdotes:
A mathematician participated as a guest in a conference with the topic of “predicting the weather”. The lecturer was very enthusiastic saying that using the state of the art technologies they can predict “the probable weather” with a probability of almost 49%. Sharing his feedback, the mathematician said: “Why don’t you tell us the opposite of what you are predicting. You would have more chances to be right (51%) …”
A while ago (of course this is not happening now any more … ) somebody dug a hole to prepare a trap for someone else and he was thinking intensely about how to make the hole as deep as possible, so that whoever falls into it will not be able to get out of it. Being so focused on this, he persevered digging, forgetting that he himself was in the hole while he was digging it for someone else. When he realized it was too late to save himself.
Feedback could reveal to us a diversity of possibilities and an opportunity to change our perspective.
Avoiding feedback from others or fighting back saying it is not the right time or the right channel to give feedback we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to learn something and most of the time this will cost us more than the risk of exposing ourselves to opinions that may not be in our area of preferences or even in our temporary area of tolerance.
Avoiding feedback we could lose our balance.
I hope you already know that these are my thoughts and represent nobody else but me.
because I care