Technically, you can’t. There are several workarounds, and it’s good as a circle to decide on an absentee policy so you know what to do in those moments.
Option A: have every circle member consent and ask for consent from absent circle members later. (The decision is only made after everyone consents.)
Option B: make a policy that people who are absent can’t object. (Carries the risk of power struggles and deterioration of trust)
Option C: ask circle members’ opinions on proposals before the meeting. (Leaves lack of clarity if the proposed changes with amendments during the meeting.)
For more information, check out our handbook Many Voices One Song section 3.2.5
When not everyone can be present for a decision (3min)
How to use consent with absentees
In a perfect world, every circle member is present for all meetings - we can approve proposals because everyone with consent rights in a domain can consent right then and there.
But of course, that doesn’t always work out. People are sick or on vacation, and life gets in the way. So what do we do then? Can we really only make decisions when everyone is present? That seems to be a significant limitation!
To be clear, the problem is that we do want to hear from all circle members whether there are any objections to a given proposal. If someone is absent, how do we know whether they consent?
Some circles simply ignore the absent person but that can easily turn into all kinds of intentional and perceived power issues!
Ideally, the organization’s governance agreement states a default procedure for those cases. But I also think each circle needs to come up with its own agreement on this question.
Here are some agreements that I’ve seen working:
Prepare decisions. If you plan to approve a proposal in an upcoming meeting and someone knows they can’t be there, ask them to share their questions beforehand so they can be answered. Also, ask them to give their reaction and possibly consent before they leave.
The problem is of course that the proposal might still change. That’s why it’s easier to operate when decisions don’t come out of the blue but are prepared with feedback. Surprises can undermine the process.
If consent before the meeting is impossible, you still have several options:
“Just” decide without them. Depending on the decision and the level of trust, that might be okay. Be open to them re-opening a discussion afterwards.
Sometimes there might be an option to call them during the meeting.
Include the missing member’s consent later. The decision is made as soon as that person has given consent (by email, text or when they get back)
Make an agreement that any absent circle member has 48 hours after a decision has been made (or after minutes have been shared) to object.
I personally favor the last option. It’s a way out of paralysis while still honoring consent.
Some circles might be relaxed about it because decisions are rarely time-sensitive. Others might feel slowed down and need a way to move forward faster.
Review your decision so, over time, you can find the best solution for your situation and comfort level.