Dear Advocates, they have mixed feelings

Thanks for your question, Hoping.
Here’s what some of the Advocates say:

  • I’ve seen this in forming communities, one person in a couple more active than the other…and it’s not uncommon for that couple to drop out. Both being engaged seems important for connections to grow. The question is how to engage the less interested partner. Their having to meet requirements sounds like a way to lessen interest even more!

  • We’ve seen these mixed feelings in couples too. One couple dropped out, but with another, the “reluctant” partner got more engaged and they are both active members now.

  • In our community, every person is asked to attend plenary meetings plus the meetings of one other circle. The work share requirement is separate from this. Our expectations apply to each person rather than to couples or households.

  • Same with our community. We require every person to participate in two circles… and wish there was another, more flexible way to invite responsibility and ensure engagement.

  • In the early stages of our recruitment, we had a requirement for participation in two work circles, but as we filled up, that requirement became more relaxed. Now, some new associates don’t even participate in one circle! That’s not what we hoped for, so let’s hear more about how the “reluctant” partner got more engaged…

Do you have thoughts about this? Please reply here.

Are you a member of an intentional community and have questions and experiences you’d like to share? Come to our next Advocates Community of Practice gathering on May 8th.


here is the signup form! Sociocracy For All

And you can find more information here: Sociocracy in Intentional Community - Sociocracy For All



I am not living in an intentional community (yet) but who knows what opportunities will come into my life in the future? Because I like to be prepared about different situations, I started to listen other people’s experiences, reflect on them and (re)shape my own “life philosophy” and my “life approach”.

Regarding the question stated in this topic, my focus is on what is a “community” or what we expect from belonging to a “community”?

Could we even talk about a “community” without discussing about what we have in common?

I guess, forming a community is also about a mutual agreement about values and personal contributions, so If I was there (which I’m not) I would look for people who want to join the community being available to sustain the community, not just to meet their own needs using the community opportunity.

Being in a community I would expect people to respect the principles of equity an equivalence in the community, and this also refers to the contribution they bring.

For sure, no everybody is prepared or could fit into any community. Is also about a common vibe … Or not?

I would focus to spread the word and find those people who would enjoy to join the community opportunity.

Best wishes,
Your friend.