(From the power-with newsletter)
Objections are an important part of decision-making. If there are never objections, how do you know everyone is paying attention and telling the truth?
If there are objections, that’s exciting! Now, you can use your skills of integrating objections.
There are three ways of integrating objections:
- Modify the proposal. Change or add the proposal to address an objection.
- Shorten the term. Someone may be concerned about something that we can’t really predict. We might simply try it out for a shorter - safe enough - time frame.
- Measure the concern. Identify what the concern is and find a way to track it. The circle might feel okay about moving forward if you pay close attention to what you track.
Most people only use the first option of modifying the proposal. That’s great and that’s leaving out good options - shorten the term and measure the concern. Both are best explained in stories.
A few years back, I was invited to an event for colleagues. It was on a Saturday, so I needed to bring my preteens. My daughter didn’t want to go - her objection was that it would be “boring.” So I made the following proposal: We go to the event - which was scheduled from 10.30 to 4 pm - but I’d check in with her at noon. If she’d be bored, I promised I’d take her home. She agreed.
Note: The term was noon instead of 4 pm. The measure was how bored she’d be.
As we arrived at the event, unbeknownst to us, a friend of hers had been hired as a babysitter for the event. She and my daughter had a great time. When I asked her at noon whether she was bored, she immediately said “I want to stay here!”
I’ve told this story many times as a way to show how to use “shorten the term” and “measure the concern” in a very natural environment.
But there’s even more. What I learned in this moment is that no amount of talking would have improved the situation - we would never have found out that she’d have a friend at the event. Some things are just unpredictable. A lot of things are unpredictable, actually.
That’s true in meetings too - sometimes more talking is not the answer but rather trying something out to see how it goes. Learning from reality instead of learning from the story in our heads.
Here’s another favorite story of mine:
It was a selection process. We tried to find the leader of a project. The person we proposed objected saying he was too busy.
We asked how we might notice when he’s overworked. (That’s a question to ask for the measure!) He said, “When I don’t have time for runs and swims, then I am overworked.”
We proposed to ask him weekly whether he was still going for runs and swims while he was serving as leader (= “measure the concern”).
Everyone consented. It worked out great because the circle was committed and took responsibility for his well-being - a great example of how an objection can be the beginning of an even better solution.